What Does Your Brew Say About You? – Long Black Edition

Black coffee, the simplest coffee to ever exist. Coffee and hot water.

 

Milk, you can take a back seat on this one.

 

So simple, yet a coffee that can be made in the most ways.

 

Filter. Pour Over. Instant. Infuser. You name it, it can probably be done.

The Best Coffee Beans to Make a Black Coffee

 

For a black coffee to be the best, the bean must be of high-quality. There’s no milk to disguise any bad flavours here.

 

High-grade, single origin and super fresh.

 

It’s best you do your research before you buy your coffee beans, especially for this black brew. Find out the flavours you like, the intensity you prefer and the acidity you crave.

 

You could be a fan of the Guatemalan Seasonal Roast and your best mate could enjoy a Colombian Darker Roast, it’s all a matter of preference.

 

Having said this, often for a black coffee, you want to aim for a lighter roast bean. With the lack of sweetness from the addition of milk to counteract the bitterness of a dark roasted bean, the lighter roast option tends to be most enjoyable.

 

A matter of preference though, I won’t be judging you if you like a darker roast for your black brew…

The Kit You Need to Make a Black Coffee

 

Once you’ve found the perfect coffee bean for you, it’s time to invest in some kit. Depending on the strength you enjoy your coffee at, it will determine which coffee maker you go for.

 

Allow me to explain.

 

If you like your black coffee fairly weak but still clean and crisp, the Brew It Stick is your answer. Compact and stylish, the Brew It Stick acts as an infuser with a mesh bag that the fresh coffee grounds go in. You simply swirl it in a mug of hot water and watch the magic happen. The less time left to infuse, the weaker the brew.

 

The Brew It Stick is also perfect for those times when you just want to put your cup of coffee first. Before people even, let alone the washing up. Just whack the stick and bag into the holder and save the washing up until later when the coffee has kicked in and you’re ready to face the day.

 

If you have a palette for a strong, dark, black coffee then the Brew It Stick may not suffice. Don’t worry, I have the solution for you.

 

The Twist Press. A nifty bit of kit, ideal for elevating those smooth coffee flavours and kicking you into action.

 

With just one twist, this coffee maker’s helix design creates a vacuum to brew the perfect cup.

 

Whether you’re halfway up a hike on Ben Nevis, in a tent in the middle of nowhere or simply in the comfort of your own home, the Twist Press will be by your side – mine has travelled far and beyond with me on many a travel and I’ve still yet to break mine!

 

And well, that’s about it for the kit you’ll need for a black coffee. A money-saving, calorie-friendly and worktop-minimal coffee choice.

What Black Coffee Says About You

 

So now we’ve cleared up the art of making a black coffee, lets turn up the heat.

 

What does your brew say about you?

 

If you’re easily offended by the truth, this section probably isn’t for you. I’d advise you to take your brew and go somewhere else…

 

Right. Got all the thick-skinned people left reading this now, I hope?

 

(Let me just confirm that the evidence for this following information is based on personal experiences, research and opinions from friends – it’s not necessarily true, unless it rings home a bit too much, then maybe it’s a sign that it’s time to reflect). 

 

So, let’s find out what kind of people you are based on your choice in coffee.

 

A black brew.

 

Those who choose to drink a black coffee tend to be no nonsense people with a preference for simplicity and straightforwardness. You may find yourself being easily frustrated and irritated by things (or people) that take their time to think through situations, by people who weigh up all the options before concluding – for you, the answer is obvious. It was 35 minutes ago.

 

As a result of this impatience, black coffee drinks are often renowned for being quite moody and introverted. They like their own space, filling their time with news articles and learning new ways to enhance their 69,000^th Excel spreadsheet. (Don’t even get them started on their new analytic software, you may never get home…)

 

Whilst these black coffee drinkers tend to be efficient and precise, they are often incredibly resistant to change.

 

Take their coffee as an example.

 

You try and tell me that you’ve ever been brave enough to recommend a ‘splash of milk’ in their coffee. Try and tell me that you’ve ever offered them a sip of your iced, oat caramel frappe or that they should try swapping their brew for a tea from time to time because it might help to stop that crazy eye twitch of theirs that has appeared.

 

You can’t. You’re too scared.

 

And rightly so.

 

We all know the saying ‘once a black coffee drinker, always a black coffee drinker’. Don’t even try and change it, they may bite your head off.

 

Well, it’s this same mindset that travels with them through all walks of life. Just let them be them.  Change isn’t in their immediate vocabulary.  

 

And don’t even try to offer them milk. They will see this as an insult. They won’t take it and will probably tell you where the door is.

 

All in all though, black coffee drinkers are often highly ambitious, determined individuals who seek success in everything they do. Their independent nature and slight stubbornness allows for them to breeze through life, often care-free! They can make for a great friend (so long as you can handle a bit of criticism here and there – caramel iced latte drinkers, stay clear), and they’ll be loyal till the end.

 

Let’s hear it for the black coffee drinkers!!

 

Oh wait, they’re still working…